Happy birthday to me... I turned 36 years old yesterday. Just to disillusion any of you who thought I might be Lindsay Lohan, blogging in secret (and lying about where I live... hey, man, maybe Lindsay LIKES Columbus. Shut up!

Anyway, here's hoping that cool shit happens in 2006 to everyone on their birthday, not just me. And may all of you get to celebrate your birthday with a hot bath and a brand new Blazing Saddles DVD, or, er, whatever else turns you on. And hey, Colin Mochrie, if you happen to be looking for a woman and would like to get with one who thinks you're the coolest and funniest guy ever, I'm in the greater Columbus phone book. Under "Islander, S."

That's all, folks. The balcony, er, the Whetstone library, is closed.